It's a great book but it's not very practical. Who can walk around, meet people and try to recall some fifty different rules that should be applied to present a winning personality?
What is needed is a short, concise and to the point formula. Something that will encompass all of what Carnegie and others had to say on the subject. This is what I hope to do in this short essay on the subject.
There are two basic elements upon which a winning personality is based. The first is caring about people and the other one is a close cousin of caring which is, making people feel good about themselves. Sounds easy enough but in actuality, it's not that simple.
First, we cannot fake about caring. Either we do or we don't. Any attempt to fake caring is the perfect recipe for disaster. People will see right through it and will be put off by the charade. There is nothing as toxic as a lack of sincerity in human relation so it is to be avoided at all cost.
Caring about people is something that can be learned and it is not all that difficult. We simply have to remind ourselves how important people are. The people that we come in contact with, either directly or indirectly, can make us or break us. They literally hold our future in their hands. They are the ones who will either give us what we want or walk away from us.
If we care about people, they will care about us. There is something contagious about caring. It is the highest compliment that we can give to someone. It means you are someone important, you matter. It is respect and acceptance all rolled into one. It is the golden rule at its finest. When we care about someone, we are treating that person the way that we would like to be treated. It's an irresistible magnet.
Extreme Life - Inspirational Series Vol.18
The next element needed to have a winning personality is to make people feel good about themselves. One of the primordial human needs is significance. We all need to feel that we are important, that we matter. Making someone feeling good about themselves is one of the most effective ways to fill that need.
Again, making people feel good about themselves cannot be faked. If we believe that they are worthy, the message will come through naturally. That message will be expressed in body language, in the words that we used and in the tone that we use to express those words. Our deepest feelings have a way of expressing themselves that cannot be denied, missed or misunderstood. The heart speaks louder and more clearly than words ever could.
So, if you want to have a winning personality, truly care about people, make them feel good about themselves… and they'll think the world of you. That's what a winning personality is all about.
How to Exhibit a Dynamic Personality for Super Success
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